Bowzer B. Dawg; A Study In Contradictions
Since I’ve been on the farm full-time now, I’ve been able to spend more quality time with Bowzer the Barndog. And in that time, I’m learning that he is a very contradictory dog. He can be very thoughtful, pensive and intense when he puts his mind to it.
But he can also go right into crazy-mode. When his paddle-tongue is showing, it’s fun time Bowzer-Style:
But his contradictions don’t stop there:
1A: He can drink water like a camel, and he’ll drink it from a puddle on the tractor road, a calf bucket, water bucket or bowl.
1B: He is afraid of water. He runs from running water, won’t take a bath, and prefers to sit out rain storms in the car.
2A: He runs, gallops or sprints when he hears or has a prey in sight. He can go from 0 to 60 in a split second. It’s a thing to see.
2B: He drags his butt. Maybe he’ll come, maybe he won’t. The butt only knows. Sometimes the butt lingers in mid-sit until it decides which way to go. Will it be up, or will it be down? The butt lingers in a static state till a decision has arrived. And then it will slowly but firmly plant itself down.
3A: He loves snacks, he’ll work his nose under your arm to get at the peanut butter/cream cheese bagel. And then look at you imploringly as if he hadn’t eaten in 5 days. He will lick day-old popcorn off of the floor. Because he “hasn’t eaten in 5 days”.
3B: He flat out refuses bananas, no matter that “he hasn’t eaten in 5 days”
4A: He is a fearless explorer. He will go sniffing deep into the brush and grass. He will throw his nose and muzzle deep into critter holes, wander into the woods and crawl under the dark recesses of the porch.
4B: He is afraid to go into houses, trembles to cross unfamiliar thresholds despite the aid of a snack or soft layer of carpet to attract him.
5A: He is the mighty hunter, the jaws of death. He will down a gopher or ground hog and promptly display it for all to see his prowess, even if it means chasing you in circles around the car with his trophy in his mouth.
5B: He is afraid of the barn cats. Even the little kittens. He needs guided assistance to walk through the gauntlet of cats to get to his dinner bowl.
6A: He can be very focused. Like two little radars, his ears sit upright on the sides of his head listening for the sound of prey. His eyes become like steady lasers, zooming in on an area of sight.
6B: Those same radar ears conveniently lose their sense of hearing when he is called. Those laser eyes suddenly wander away, far away, to another sight opposite from where he is being called. This is a case of selective hearing and selective sight.
7A: He likes to hang out with the calves. He can often be found in the calf barn or in the calf pasture. He is…Lord of the Calves.
7B: He has no herding instinct. None. If a calf runs lose, don’t bother calling Bowzer. He has other things on his mind.
And we love him, just like that.