Stunt Farmer Pete; exposed
I’ve been living on this farm for 4 years and 2 months. It is only now that I have come up with a theory that is rocking my little ag-life world…
Action Figure Pete has a stunt double. I know, right? All this time he’s been leading a double life right under my nose. I go to work 25 miles due north assuming that he is hard at work mixing feed, feeding calves, mending fences, digging fields. But in reality, something else is going on. The clues began to add up.
If I happen to come home unexpectedly early, no matter what time of day…he is home. Taking a nap, watching HGTV, playing with the cat or just coming out of the shower. “And don’t tell me you haven’t been taking a nap Action Figure Sleeping Pete, I can see the indentation of your head in the pillow! And it’s still warm!”
Ach mein gott! It suddenly hit me, all clues point to Stunt Farmer Pete!! All this time, when I’m around he is all action-packed, industrious and hard-working…but if I step off the farm, in comes Stunt Farmer Pete so that Action Figure Pete can go home, hang up his cap, eat chips and pet the cat. (and no that’s not a typo, there’s no “e” at the end of cap. He has a baseball cap, not a cape. Although if he had a baseball cape, that would be interesting.)
Now that I know the ugly truth, when do I get to meet this Stunt Farmer Pete? The Action Figure one just laughed at me, denying this accusation. And then it happened, one day I was standing at the end of the driveway at the calf barn. He wasn’t expecting that I would be there. But I was. Waiting. Wondering. Where was Action Figure Pete? Just then who comes tearing down the road in his souped-up lawnmower but gasp! Stunt Farmer Pete in the flesh. No cap, no cape, just a maniacal grin on his face plowing up the road.